Hi Lea! This is the first time I have ever heard your name. I was on the website www.angelesamor.org and the article regarding abundance and the feminine side really caught my attention. Then, I decided to look up your name and this website www.es.eelea.com came up so I suppose it's yours. There I read what Mary Magdalene said about our essence. And I must say that for a long time I have felt that I don't belong anywhere. My heart has been telling me to express myself, but I have always been very shy and insecure. I love to create new things, but then I think that they aren’t any good and I should just work like everyone else does, like I used to do - but I feel inside that this is not the answer, so since 2007 I haven't had a "normal job". I make a living from the jewelry I make; all of the designs are unique, I don't repeat them. I usually sell them in Spanish Language Schools (I live in Cuernavaca, Mexico), but with all the hype about the flu students have stopped coming; there are only a few and I haven't sold a thing for a long time :( I don't know what to do because as you wrote in your article about abundance I need my space too; I would really love to have my own home; my own place but I have no money :( Well, I really don't know if you are going to answer... as this has happened to me before. Anyway... thank you for your light and writings.

I know many beautiful people who are creative and sensitive to energies who have great difficulty in dealing with everyday life here on earth. I just came back from shopping for groceries and I have to say that it shocks me sometimes how rude, how stressed out and scared people are. Yes, that’s life here on earth. It takes some deep loving breaths for me to reconnect with the love of my soul. The lack of love that surrounds us is sometimes hard to bear. I always have to hear the loving voice of my soul to help me stay balanced. She explains to me why this woman is so rude to me and why this man behind me is so angry at everyone. And only when I start understanding that most people are very, very unhappy, can I understand why they act the way they do.

When I read your story I feel this innocent child that is just hurt and disappointed by the way people have treated you. And yes, this innocent beautiful child is absolutely right to be upset and feel like giving up. Because out there - where the other people are, and even in our families – there isn’t enough love for you. This child has never gotten the love it truly needs and deserves.

In my childhood I felt great sadness because I didn’t get the love that I needed to feel safe and to open up my full potential. But when I was finished with looking for love - out there - I started to look for love in here. I started breathing and began to feel that a sweet feeling of stillness comes when I breathe. “Where did it come from?” I asked myself. I didn’t do it. There must be something like a pool of stillness and sweetness inside of me. And so I started to connect with this pool of love in my belly every day. Sometimes I had to run away from this love, because it seemed like too much and I wasn’t used to being so loved. But I always came back. And my soul was always right there, ready to give me more love, more abundance, more appreciation than ever before. So I made up for all the love that wasn’t there in my childhood. I just breathe this love now and it doesn’t matter even how old we are. The love we missed, the love we lacked is there waiting for us. Waiting for us to become still and look inside.

Yes, some people will laugh. How can you feel loved just by breathing in your belly. And some years ago I would have laughed with them. But today I feel that this is what reconnecting with myself really means: to learn how to receive love, energy and abundance from my soul.

Back to your story. As long as you stay in this feeling of disappointment and sadness, your energy won't be able to flow freely. We all know that disappointment can lead us to giving up and closing our inner doors. But having a closed door isn't a great idea for receiving abundance. Imagine your soul trying to give you abundance when you have given up and your door is closed. It doesn’t work.

Can you start reconnecting with this loving, beautiful voice deep inside you that wants to show you what your next step in life can be? Maybe you can use this quiet time, where business is slow to gain a deeper connection with yourself. So let this disappointed child who never felt loved come in your breath and from there into the arms of your soul. Your mind won't understand, but your intuitive feeling will know how to do that.

I remember a turning point in my life, when all my money was gone, I was really sick and could hardly walk straight and I had no idea how I could survive. I didn’t see a solution. I just sat down in my apartment, ready to cry - when all of a sudden I felt this great love deep within me. She just kept saying: It's okay. Everything is going to be just fine. I love you so much. I will keep you so safe. I love you. I love you. And in that moment I knew, yes I was afraid of the future and I had no idea how to earn money and no rich relatives or parents to pull me out of this situation, but I had this loving beautiful voice that kept loving me and helping me to find my way to a new kind of life. I had nothing to lose. I had nothing at all. (I didn’t even have one piece of furniture in my one room apartment.)

So please don’t doubt yourself, don’t judge yourself but start listening to your heart, your intuition, your soul, your inner voice - whatever you want to call it. For me, this time in my life was important because it helped me to grow up. I am now independent, abundant, healthy and happy in my life. Not because other people loved me. It all happened because my soul loves me. I breathe and talk with her every day. Letting her guide me. I am allowing her gentleness and grace in my life. And yes, she also fills my bank account. But I keep my inner door wide open, ready to receive. Are you willing to open up to your soul instead of waiting for the world to change?

Lovingly, Lea