Sometimes there are moments, when we know that we need some quiet time, or some warmth, or just some compassionate understanding, yet we seem unable to receive it. We don’t take the five minutes, or make the cup of tea or stand still for a moment. We know we need something, but we just don’t respond to our own need. Why don’t we?

There are many reasons. Most people have been raised with the belief that it’s a sign of weakness to need anything at all. We hear our parents talking inside of us. You want to take a break again, you lazy girl! You just had a cup of tea, why do you need another one? Don’t be such a sissy and stop complaining.

When we hear these voices, we stop. All of a sudden, we aren't so sure any more if a break is the right thing. Even the cup of tea doesn’t sound so delicious any more. We hesitate and doubt ourselves. Mostly these conversations happen unconsciously, so we aren't even aware that we have them.

Sometimes we even try to cheat ourselves, just like our parents did. Did you ever wish for a specific toy and ended up getting a cheaper version that just wasn't the same? But the parents insisted: It’s the same. But in your heart you knew it wasn’t. So when we long for a piece of chocolate and instead give ourselves a health cookie- it's just not the same. We try to cheat ourselves, because we are terrified of our own needs.

Maybe later in life we went on a more spiritual journey and all of a sudden we labeled our needs as Ego. The bad Ego wants some attention. The bad Ego wants to take another break. The bad Ego wants some warmth and more cookies. Bad Ego!

Many mothers told me that they leave there babies crying often otherwise they would get spoiled. She has to learn that she can't get anything she wants. And so the baby keeps crying. And they learn that living essentially means pain, desperately longing for something - but never getting it. The logic of leaving babies crying might work. The baby might give up and stop showing us what it really needs. And thirty years later we have an adult who doesn’t trust, who cannot receive. We learned to disconnect from our needs.

Until we start to reconnect with our soul.

Our soul is the gentle, patient, abundant mom we never had. She has an abundance of time, understanding and love waiting for us. She loves to help us receiving. She loves to show us that our needs are not something strange and misleading, but they are honest and lead us on the path of our soul. If you have this kind of mom, it's fun to have needs. She already knows what you need even before you realize it. You just have to receive.

Picture: Richard0 Flickr