Today I'm wondering about several things.

How do we meet our emotions that come up in daily life? How do we meet fear, emptiness, loneliness, anger or worry? Most of the people I know meet them like unwelcome guests.

Oh my god, there is Mr. Fear again. I told him to stay away but there he is. Oh no!

We slam the door in the face of unwanted emotions. We stomp our feet like little children hoping they will go away. And sometimes it seems to work for a while. But they always come back.

They seem to want something from us. But what is it?

Actually I went through a phase with our dog, Noah, where he would always come and whine right when I was in the middle of writing something interesting. And part of me went: Not now! Not now! Come back later. But this is something he doesn't understand so easily. He just kept whining.

Finally something inside me said: Pick him up and hold him for a moment. So I took a deep breath and just held him for a moment. It was amazing. This moment of peace and quiet was actually good for me, too. I slowed down. And Noah seemed to need a sense of connection.

I know that animals don’t go into these more mind oriented energies like we do. So when the whole family is working on this computer thing it can seem to him that we are all gone. So he comes and asks us to help him feel connected again. Feel safe and at home.

After about two minutes he went back to his place and started playing with his ball. So all it took were two minutes.

When I heard him whining for the first time my mind suddenly showed me this horrible picture where I could never ever write again, but had to spend all my time sitting with a whining dog. Forever. And ever.

So the mind lies. It tells us, that if we open the door and meet our feelings, our partner, or even our children - we will be overwhelmed by them.

And in truth it’s the other way around. We tend to get out of balance, when we start evading our own feelings. The more we fight them, the more horrifying they become.

So this is important.

I decide how to meet my emotions. I decide if I open the door and meet them or slam the door in their face because my mind tells me to do so. And this is not a one-time decision. I have to marvel at people who tell me: I decided months ago that I want to live with my soul. I go: Great. For me, I have to make this decision every day, every minute, with every breath that I take. Because every breath is another decision to be with my soul.

Did you ever stop to ask the emotion that is coming up what it wants from you? When we slam the door it's rather hard to get why they come to us.

What does Mr. Fear want? What do I have, that Mr. Fear doesn’t have?

Mr. Fear comes to me, because I know where my soul lives. And he doesn't.

So he rings my door bell and he's a little dusty and looks a little ragged. When I stop long enough to hear his question, I can help him. Because I know where my soul lives. I don’t know this in my mind. I can't give him fancy words and great explanations. But what I can do is take some slow, gentle breaths until I feel the love of my soul.

Mr. Fear is getting excited. That’s it. I want that. That warm beautiful feeling, this is Home. I want to go there.

All right Mr. Fear, you can ride on my breath, right to my soul. And off he goes, breath by breath, dissolving into warmth and happiness. I can just hear him shouting: I'm home. Thank god. I found it.

And it makes me smile to feel the love of my own soul radiating though me. There is nothing more touching then to feel our soul welcoming home a lost child. She really missed Mr. Fear. And she kept looking for him, waiting for him to come home.

So when people ask me when this integration thing stops, I don’t know what to say. I love, that every day more of me gets to come home. More of me is being loved and connected to my soul. Is it really so bad? Is it so bad to grant the same love to all of me?

I don’t think so.

So I keep meeting my emotions, my many sides. Day after day they come to my door. Are you the lady who knows where the soul lives? And sometimes they scare me for a moment, because they have traveled so far and are so exhausted and dirty. But then I can smile at them and go:Yes, I'm the lady who knows the soul. You will be home soon.

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