eelea | 10 - The Bridge of Trust Part I

10 - The Bridge of Trust Part I

Sunday, 23. December 2007

aboutpixel.de / Brücken verbinden © Susann Roßberg

And so we begin...

And so we begin on this wonderful winter day, so very close to Christmas, this moving season – so much is moving inside you, even if you are not aware of it. Christmas is a very special time, inside of you as well as outside of you. A time that allows us to become still and to come closer to ourselves, if we choose so.

I, Sophia, enter this space that we share. This space that is so full of love and stillness, so full of an unbelievable feeling of celebration.

We have invited you. We have invited you to a special meeting, to a special Christmas party, to a special moment in this space, now. You are invited to bring your soul with you into this space. You are invited to bring along everything that you are, everything that is yours.

And we have invited the New Children to be here with us in this space today. Children that live here on earth, experiencing life as human beings. Children that are on their way to earth. Children that are getting prepared for their journey to earth. Children that still aren’t sure if they want to come to earth.

We have invited them into this space, to be with us and to touch us with what they want to share with us. They are invited to also be touched by what we – as grown-ups living on earth – want to share with them. Children that have been on this earth for such a long time. Children that have lived many years on this earth.

We come together into this space that is so festive. There is the smell of fir branches and candle scent in the air. Shiny and sparkling. This space is so special and festive, there is so much love! People forget these things, yet they are so important for human beings here on earth: the festive, the special, the celebrating. Let's not forget these things while we are here on this earth. It's not necessarily the gifts we exchange that bring us that special glitter, that shine. It's not necessarily the particular season. It doesn't necessarily come from the outside. It's your own soul that brings this festivity to you.

We can come so close to our own soul at Christmas time. This time invites us, invites you to come closer to yourself and feel: it's such a celebration to let yourself perceive your soul! To let your soul come closer to you. To come closer, and closer and closer.

Let us now take a moment to feel this wonderful space. Today this space is a little fuller. We have invited many guests. It's so full with life and vitality. There is so much music in this space, so much laughter and joy, so much pleasure. This space invites you to come closer to your own soul.

Today you get two invitations. The first invitation is for your conscious self. The part of you that gets up in the morning, goes to work, does the shopping, goes to bed at night, reads. The part that takes a warm bath and pours some tea. The part that goes to the bank, that is concerned about money, that waters the flowers. The part that experiences and shares your everyday life with you.

The second invitation is for your soul. The part of you that hasn't come in here yet, into your body, into your everyday life. The part of you that is still waiting for you to let it in. The part of you that contains so much love, so much warmth and grandness. The part of you that is longing to come closer to you. The part that would love to take care of you. The part that is just like a loving mother and a loving father who love you and want to be there for you.

This very part is your soul. It's not more or less valuable than the Little Self, the conscious self. It's just another part of you. A part that you sometimes forget.

The Little Self is so busy with the adventure called life, that it tends to forget that there's more to it. The Little Self forgets that there is a greater love, a greater security there, willing to support it.

And that is why I, Sophia, sent an extra invitation to your soul. Your soul is invited here tonight, to be with you in this space. It's sitting right next to you. Perhaps you would like to hold hands. Perhaps you would like to feel how close your soul has come, closer to you than ever before.

There’s a reason that we have invited your soul during Christmas time to come into this festive space we share today, where the joy of the New Children is so present. The New Children are observing you. They move among your seats and look at you. Perhaps they even touch you, so that they can feel you better.

They look at how you live, how you appear. They look at your emotions, your history. They are so curious to know how life on earth is, to understand what being a human is about. So they walk curiously through the room to get to know you better. They come to you, look at you, giggle and move on, observing and exploring. Little adventurers moving all about, looking for an answer to the question of what it's like to be a human being.

And you, here today as part of our gathering in this space we share, you know a lot about what it's like to be a human being on this earth. You know a lot about what it's like to believe that you are nothing but that Little Self. You know a lot about what it's like to forget your soul, to lose touch with your soul and to go out on a long, long search. Searching for your own soul. You know a lot about what that’s like, how it feels and what kind of experiences it has brought you.

Forgetting partly who you really are is a characteristic of being human. That's why being a human is so special. You came into this game of humanness and you focused so strongly on it. You took it so seriously, that you forgot it's just a game. You began to let yourself get hurt by it. You began to shut down and protect yourself from all the negative experiences you'd been through. And while you shut down, a door inside of you closed.

***

Today we would like to tell you a story about that journey. A little story about your journey. About the journey of the Little Self and the soul. You may lean back and make yourself comfortable, and listen to this story, if you like:

Once upon a time there was a little soul, that wondered whether there could be more to experience than just being a soul. This soul had had it’s experiences in a very particular way. Everything had been so light and fleeting. As quick as a dream. The little soul was here in one moment and somewhere else in the next. It had experienced what it is like to fly and to dream. But whatever the little soul experienced wouldn't last long. It would be quick, fleeting, like a film, like a dream.

So the soul had an idea. How about slowing down? How about slowly letting myself sink down to earth, into matter! Matter is just very slow energy.

And so, this little curious and adventurous soul let itself sink and sink and sink. Sink deep, deep into matter, deep into the slow, slow, slow existence of earth. And just as the little soul began to get slower, slower than ever before, a part of this soul even turned into matter. A part of this soul became so slow, that all of a sudden it could be touched. All of a sudden it could be seen. A part of this soul became a human body. A human body. This little soul had never experienced anything like this before. It was very strange.

“How can my energy be so slow that it has become a body?”, the little soul wondered. When it realized that the body was a wonderful home, a wonderful safe place, it began slowly and gently to move closer to it. Like a wave, it began to flow deeper and deeper into that body. And all of a sudden the little soul felt like it was in the body. Not outside anymore, but inside. A part of it was in matter, in that body. In the part of the soul that had turned into matter.

Allow yourself to feel that for a moment. Perceive for a moment how strange it is to be in a body. Your soul is as flexible and free flowing as water. Just like you can pour water into a glass, you poured your soul into your body. At the beginning of your journey, your plan was to keep pouring your soul into that body until your soul was completely held in there. Your whole soul. Everything that you are was supposed to be held in this body.

And while moving into your body, all of a sudden you had the feeling that there were two of you. Suddenly it wasn't just one you, but two. One was in the body and the other was still outside the body.

Imagine pouring water from a big jug into a glass. And while pouring, part of the water is in the glass and part of it is still in the jug. And suddenly, the part in the glass realizes: Oh, there is more wanting to come into me. Suddenly, the part in your body had a feeling of: “There is something wanting to come into me, and it's strange. It's unfamiliar. It's threatening.” In this moment, something very unusual began.

Suddenly you didn't feel like one anymore, you felt like two. One part of you in the body, one part outside the body. And suddenly, the part in the body was having doubts and mistrust: What if there is a stranger wanting to come into me, what if it's something threatening, something that wants to possess me, something stronger than me? And because of this fear, the Little Self closed the door. It interrupted the flow. It closed the door to its own soul, interrupted the flow of its own growth.

Allow yourself for a moment to perceive how that feels. It's a part of your experience. It is what happens in duality. One soul seemingly became two. The conscious part and the part that wasn't yet in the body.

And we invite you to feel, that this story is about to move into the next chapter. Your story is about to take another step and outgrow what you've experienced so far.

This is how your story goes:

One day, after a long journey and after plenty of experiences, the Little Self perceives a shut door. The Little Self perceives a big door within, a door that seems familiar. For some of you it might feel like a wooden door. For others it could be a big rusty metal door. Again for others it might be a beautiful big archway.

Whatever this door might look like: The Little Self has now discovered it. When it looked at it, the door seemed to remind it of something. Deep inside the Little Self something echoed. A memory. And the Little Self was so fascinated and amazed, it said: Where does this door lead to? And why is it shut? And what is behind this door? And why am I on this side of the door and what's on the other side? Questions, so many questions occupied the Little Self.

So it began to search. To knock on the door. From the other side of the door, the Little Self would hear a small echo. Suddenly there was an answer. Knock, knock, on the one side. Knock, knock, on the other side. The Little Self was fascinated: Someone is there, behind the door. And then, as the Little Self began to share the enthusiasm with this creature on the other side, to communicate and to talk to it, the old doubts suddenly came up. The old doubts deep inside said: What if something evil is behind that door? What if I die when I open the door? What if everything I know disappears? What if everything that I am is gone, when I open the door? And those doubts were so old and so familiar, that the Little Self became nervous and began to hesitate.

The Little Self was occupied with those doubts for some time. Doubts that kept coming again and again, with different faces on them. It always seemed different. This fear always looked different. It would take the form of another person, saying there were evil energies out there. There is something bad, very bad, and you need to protect yourself. Or the Little Self met that fear in a book or on the internet. Or it would burst up from deep inside and suddenly be overwhelming.

So the Little Self was busy with those doubts for a while, until finally it said to itself: You know what? I'm fed up with that. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less if I die, when I open the door. I couldn't care less if there's something bad there or not. I don't care. I don't care what those doubts are telling me. I don't care what fear keeps on telling me. I’m ready, I choose to open that door inside of me again.

The Little Self learned to trust, to trust in the unknown. It learned to trust the things behind the door. It learned to listen to what is behind the door. To open up for it. After a while, it would feel very warm behind the door. The door was not even that thick anymore, not as separating, not as much in the way anymore. Sometimes the door would squeak and would open a bit more. The Little Self was fascinated by what was behind the door. It felt so familiar. It felt a great love, warmth and trust and it realized that it’s nice to open that door and that nothing bad could ever happen and or would ever happen.

The more the Little Self began liking it, and the more it felt that a part of itself had been waiting behind the door, the easier it was to open the door a bit more. More and more and more. Until one day the Little Self realized that a new rhythm had evolved in it’s life – a rhythm between itself and what had been waiting behind the door. A bond. A closeness. A trust. A trust in what was on the other side, hidden and veiled for so long.

The Little Self was moved. Very moved and very happy, it began to enjoy this closeness like it had never enjoyed anything before. It was like heaven on earth. It was so nice, that the Little Self would sometimes lie down for hours, just to feel how close it was, that which has been waiting behind the door.

Time passed and the Little Self found other words for what was behind the door. Suddenly it felt like home. Once it felt like the greatest love of it’s life. Another time it felt like a vital force. Yet another time it would feel like pure joy. Like coziness and safety and abundance.

So the Little Self began to change, it began to open up and to become softer. And the connection to it’s home, to it’s love, to it’s abundance, it's coziness and safety grew more stable, more trustful, more secure. Sometimes the Little Self didn't even know: Am I now on this side of the door or behind it – or is there no door at all? And it didn’t think about it anymore. It was so happy. It enjoyed this connection so much, that there was no time left to worry, to be afraid or to doubt.

The more this love connected the Little Self to it's soul, the more the old door melted away. It just melted away. It became thinner and thinner, smaller and smaller, until it wasn't there anymore. And the Little Self was happy. And the soul was happy. And after a long, long time of getting closer and getting to know each other again, being together again, the Little Self and the soul both felt: Oh, we really are one again, and we always have been one, although we forgot along the way. And we will always be one.

The Little Self was so happy that it had dared to open the door. So happy that it had dared to grow bigger than the doubts and to embrace it’s own self again. To finally find what it had been missing so much.

***

I am telling you this story, because it is a part of your own story. You are a part of this story, a part of this experience. You are in the midst of finding your way back to yourself again. And perhaps you can now remember what's waiting for you behind your door when you meet those doubts again, telling you: Beware! Look out! There is something evil out there. Something unfamiliar, something threatening. You'd better protect yourself. Stay where you are. Don't you dare open yourself up. Don't you dare to trust. Don't you dare to feel. Don't you dare to grow stronger.

In those moments, maybe now you can remember: The only thing that can ever happen, the only thing that is waiting for you in this life – no matter where – is always your own soul. It's the part of you that has been missing, the part you've been waiting for. There is nothing more than that. Nothing that could harm you, nothing you need to keep yourself away from.

The only thing waiting for you is your own soul.

Behind the door of your life, behind that wall inside you, nothing but what you've been longing for is there waiting for you. Sometimes it is tempting to forget and to believe the doubts that keep coming up. Those doubts that keep telling you: There is something unknown, there is something strange. Something isn't right. You know those doubts so well.

The New Children can perceive and feel this doubt too. They choose not to listen to it, but to remember their own love and their own trust instead.

What a beautiful occasion, in this space that we share, to remember together what is really behind that door waiting for us. What really is in our lives, longing to come in. And we long for it. You long for it. And at the same time, there is nothing and no one that frightens you more than your own soul.

The New Children are very moved by this story. By your story. By what you've been experiencing, by what you've been going through. They come into this life with an incredible ability to remember who they are. They come with a tremendous amount of trust. Trust. Trust is the only thing that can help you melt that door open and dissolve that wall of separation inside of you.

No technique in the world, no force, no effort, no hard work can help you overcome the separation. Only trust - trust in yourself and trust in the Unknown, in what you cannot see, nor touch, not even feel – this enormous trust is the bridge, the bridge over duality. The bridge from you to you. From the Little Self to your soul. Trust is the path on which you meet again, where you can feel and perceive each other again. Nothing else is required.

And I, Sophia, come in here today to share this story with you. And to remind you how very important trust is. Trust in yourself. Trust in the Unknown. For behind the wall, beyond duality, your soul and nothing but your soul is waiting for you.

That is why I gave two invitations today. The invitation to you, the invitation to your soul. And you may want to pause for a moment and feel your soul, perceive your soul. Feel that it's there. That it's always been there and always will be there.

After a small break, together we will allow your soul to come a bit closer. I, Sophia, will support you, if you would like to move a little closer to your own soul. For it is the answer to all of your questions. The key to everything that has held importance in your life: coming closer to your soul again. This is your destination. This is your answer. This is the next step on your journey.

And so we begin together...