eelea | 11 - The Experience of Life

11 - The Experience of Life

Sunday, 13. January 2008

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And so we begin...

And so I, Sophia, enter this space. I enter with sounds of music, sounds that are moving, coming and going, dancing like waves in the ocean. And so I, Sophia, come in here in a new way. Each time I enter this space, I enter in a new way. This space where we meet each other is a space of the feminine energy. The feminine energy is about to awaken again on this earth. The feminine energy in every human being is about to awaken again.

The era of awakening here. A time in which opposites, having been separated for a long time, come together again, melt together again. They reconnect in a new way.

And we open this space by perceiving it, we open it through feeling it. We open this space of the new feminine energy by enjoying it, while we feel: This space holds me and carries me. This space is a gift of safety and love. This space grounds me. It is a space that allows me to be fully in my body. The feminine energy allows you to arrive deeper into your body.

You see, being a human can sometimes be quite scary for the human consciousness. There is the tendency to shut yourself away, to turn your back to an experience or to life, even to your own body. Many people occupy their bodies only partly-some not even barely. People float around in their minds, or they decide to occupy just half of their bodies. Yet the feminine energy invites you to fully occupy your body again! The feminine energy invites you: Come! Let yourself sink down into your body. Let yourself slip into your body till you fill each and every toe. Let yourself arrive in your body.

Occupy your body, fill your body again. Fill your life again. This life is waiting for you to be present. Your soul is longing for you to be present.

Many of you are wondering: How can my soul and I reconnect? The connection of the soul with the human being – this is a task where I join with you, precisely where I would like to support you. This new connection begins by you being present, being fully there. You sometimes call it being “centered“ or being grounded. I call it being present. Just the way you are. Being present as you are, with everything that you are, with everything that is yours. It's about trusting in yourself enough to allow yourself to be present.

There is no reason to flee. No reason to hide. No reason to doubt yourself. You can allow yourself to be fully present.

The space we open today allows you to be fully there, to be fully present. To be present as a human being, alive and awake. Being a human can generate such vitality! Being a human can be a fireworks of energy and creativity, if you allow yourself to be there and participate in the experience you are having. Not just observing the experience the way that you observe fish in an aquarium - just sitting in front of the glass and watching the fish swim from one side to the other. It's about diving fully into the experience, becoming one with the experience that you are having right now.

Can you allow yourself to be the human being sitting in your chair right now? Can you allow yourself to be in the body that is there for you today?

It is not important whether you like the body, or whether the body is healthy or strong. If you don't like your body that much or if it's not that healthy and not that strong is not important either. Can you allow yourself to fill this body, to sink down into this body and experience what it is like to be in it?

You see: It's about your experience. Your ex-perience (lat. ex- "out of" and -periri "try, feel, undergo", i.e.- knowledge gained by undergoing, by trying, by feeling). When you begin to experience your life, to be a part of your experiences again and truly perceive them, your body gets filled with life. When you are there, your body is full of life. The person sitting in your chair starts to awaken and get creative. As long as you are only observing, as long as you are waiting for things to happen, as long as you sit to one side judging your own life – your life will wait. And that is exactly how long your life will be waiting for you.

The space we opened today invites you to become alive again. Alive in a new way. There is nothing to prove. It's not about proving your goodness. It's not about becoming remarkably successful. It's not even about becoming better than others. It's about participating in your own life, being a part of your own life again. You are the missing piece that makes your life whole. You are the stage on which your life can occur.

***

So often you are busy observing yourself, so many of you do that. You stand right beside you and observe what you, what this person is doing, how you behave and what you experience. You stand beside you when you argue with your partner. You stand beside you while you initiate a project, while you come up with a new idea. You stand beside your body when you are sad. You stand beside you as an observer. Sometimes this observer judges the observed. Sometimes the observer has a negative opinion about that human being having those experiences. Sometimes you are like a referee with yourself. Or like a critic that has never been on stage but can always tell you how it should be done best. Like someone who always knows what's good and what's bad, someone who knows how your life is supposed be, how you are supposed to behave, how you could have said something better or shouldn't have said something at all.

This critic that you sometimes are to yourself is giving you a difficult time. Whatever you do: This critic knows how you could have done it better. Many of you allow this critic to annoy you and make you anxious. So many of you think that things could have been different. You think that you should be trying harder to improve your situation.

Let's take an example: When you have an argument with your partner or when you are angry at someone – the critic inside you stands right next to you and says: What a nasty person you are! Look at that. You are arguing with your partner. You have no understanding for your partner, no compassion. You are so unfair. You should be compassionate and caring and loving. This is how the critic talks. The critic says you need to try harder, then you wouldn't need to argue. The critic says you need to be more compassionate, more loving, then there would be no argument at all.

Your critic, of course, is also busy with the people around you. Your critic has the best suggestions how they, too, could be better than they are. Your critic says that your partner should be more understanding, shouldn't be coming home late anymore, should start sorting the right clothes into the right drawer and so on. This critic has so much to say. So many suggestions for making things better. Whatever it is, the critic always knows best.

Having this experience can be very disheartening, and it can leave you with no self-confidence, for you do believe this critic. You actually believe that you've done something wrong. You actually believe what the critic is telling you.

I, Sophia, invite you to think about it: Can my life really be that different than it is right now? Is it true that my life would be different if I had tried harder? Could my life be different if I had made better decisions?

Is the critic inside you right? Give yourself some time to feel, to perceive.

Is the critic inside you right? Or is what you are now experiencing the best that you can give right now? Is everything that you feel and perceive in this moment the best that you can do for now? Are you perhaps the best person you can be today? Is your critic right or would you like to listen to what your soul has to say? You know what your critic says, you know what your critic keeps on telling you. You have listened often enough.

Today you might want to listen to a new voice inside you and perceive what this voice wants to tell you. This voice is not that loud. It doesn't come from that upper part where the mind is. The sound of this voice comes from deep down in your belly, from your center. And in order to perceive this voice and hear it, you do need to dive in a little, dive into yourself.

When you dive deep into yourself, you can perceive what this voice wants to tell you. This voice is telling you that you are perfect, just the way you are right now.

Oh, your mind cannot conceive that. It's not even worth trying to listen with your mind, for your mind is saying: Oh, but there is still so much for me to learn. I still need to grow and to change and to keep trying.

Listen with your heart. Use your heart to listen to what the love of your soul wants to tell you. Your critic makes you doubt yourself. The voice of your soul invites you to trust in yourself. Your critic makes you keep your distance. Your soul invites you to become one with yourself again. Your soul invites you to make peace with yourself again. To be at peace with everything that you are. To be at peace with yourself and to perceive that, whatever is in your life today, it is perfect. You are perfect right now.

The example above- having an argument with your partner- your soul allows you to perceive that it's okay to have that argument and to experience that argument. That it's okay to be impatient, that it's okay if you can't have more compassion right now.

Your soul invites you to perceive that nothing about you needs to change. And, most important, there is nothing you need to do before you can enjoy your life. Your critic tells you: First you need to stop arguing, then you can live and enjoy your life. Your soul invites you to live the argument! Live whatever you are experiencing! And feel: it is complete. You are complete. Your life right now, it is complete. It is complete, with everything you've got and everything that you haven't got, with everything you know and with everything that you don't know.

Your life is complete. You are complete!

And you might want to let yourself feel what this awareness awakens inside you. How you feel during an argument when you know: It's alright if I'm impatient. It's okay to be angry at my partner. It's okay to have this argument today. It's part of my life. I can enjoy this experience if I want to, and I can laugh at myself.

Your soul loves you the way you are. Your critic doesn't love you, no matter what you do.

Your soul loves you just the way you are. It takes a lot of courage to meet your soul's love again. It takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to be loved so much. It takes a lot of courage to accept such unconditional love, a love that only your soul can give you.

It takes a lot of courage to perceive: I am complete. I am truly loved. I am perfect. I am just the way I'm supposed to be.

This doesn't mean that you are not growing, it doesn't mean that you are the same person every day. Every day you are a new person, you live a new version of yourself. And yet you can begin to accept your current version of today, you can begin to experience what you experience today, to feel what you feel today, to perceive what you perceive today.

Your soul invites you to be who you are today and to feel how much your soul loves you. Just the way you are today. For your soul, there is no better version of you than you, the way you are today. Your soul is not expecting you to be different, bigger, better, nicer, wiser or more careful.

Your soul loves you so much. Your soul is like a loving mommy. She looks at her child and knows: My child is the best child on this earth. The most beautiful, the most wonderful. Your soul loves you so much, so much. And there is nothing that you need to do to get this love, you don't need to work for it, you don't need to fight for it. This love is already yours.

And I, Sophia, come in here again and again to remind you of that. And to invite you to move closer to your own soul. The spaces that I open, both visible and invisible, are spaces in which the human and the soul can become one again. The masculine and the feminine energy. The human and the soul. All your aspects can become one again. You can let all of the aspects of yourself come together again so that a new flower can blossom and bloom. A new wealth. A new harmony. A new version of you.

And so we begin together...

Part 2: Questions and Answers with Sophia

And so we begin...

with the time for the answers, with the time that we share together, where you can bring your questions and your answers in. This time, where we sometimes do nothing but breathe together or be still together.

I, Sophia, enter our space, this space full of life and energy, this space of ours where we open up for what your soul wants tell you.

Over many lives you learned to open up to what your mind had to tell you, what your old patterns wanted to say to you. Now the time has come to open up, together, and hear what your soul wants tell you.

This is exactly what we do when we share our questions and answers. It’s not about the answers of the mind anymore. It’s not about “knowing”. We all understand that the “knowing” of the mind is not helpful. No, it’s about bringing all that you know into your life. Embodying it. Integrating it. It’s about diving into your self, into the innermost part of you, your depth, into your stillness. And then, feel: What would I like to bring into my life? What truths do I want to live? It’s about the truths of the soul, the truths of the heart, not the truths of the mind.

Whenever you are in your mind while looking at the questions and answers we share, your mind will tell you that everything is so contradictory. Your mind will say: But, I’m supposed to be soft, and now I read that I have to be clear and direct.. Your mind will be annoyed again and again. It will start to judge, not precisely understanding what it’s all about. For the answers we share with you are to be perceived with the heart, are to be felt, to be breathed in.

And if you allow yourself to truly feel the answers, you will realize: Hard and soft do not contradict, left and right do not contradict. Nor above and below, or masculine and feminine. We are connecting the opposites. And you can usually tell that it’s your mind that wants to separate the opposites, your mind recognizes the polarities but cannot deal with them any further than that.

And so we invite you today to enter this energetic space that we share, and to sink deep into your belly and feel the answers that are there for you already.

And so we begin.

Question 1:

Dear Sophia! I´ve had quite a rough time so far. I keep asking myself what I’m doing here, why I´m still here. My old yearning for love and connectedness is as strong now as it was when I was a teenager, maybe even as when I was born. It hasn’t got better! Sometimes I feel that none, really none of it ever manifested. The longing is still here, and even though it’s not coming true, it won’t give up either. What am I supposed to think? I feel like a donkey running after a carrot and not getting it. I don’t want to keep running around like this. I thank you from my heart!

Sophia:

Perhaps you would like to feel the answer that is there for you already. You may want to perceive that answer within you, you may want to perceive this new impulse, this new possibility inside you.

You might want to feel that you’ve been running long enough, you’ve been struggling long enough to be different, different than who you are, better than who you are. Because somewhere deep inside you, you thought: I am not worthy of accepting this love. Not yet, first I must change. First I must become a better person. There is so much for me to understand and to know, before I can accept my own love.

And perhaps today you might realize that your soul is not as hard on you as you often are. Your soul is ready to meet you where you are standing right now.

You might want to open your eyes and feel: Your soul is right here, right where you are. Standing in front of you. Like a mother standing in front of her child. She is not far away, out there somewhere. She is right here waiting for you to receive her love. From where you are standing right now.

Question 2:

Dear Sophia! During a session I got into a past life where I had the name Iris. But I was not able to recognize any people, mostly it was colors and symbols. If the question would be what surprised me the most after my death, the answer would be the absolute darkness. Does this have anything to do with my work as a healer in this life?

Sophia:

We invite you to feel: Now is a time when many of you have contact with other lives, with other aspects of your self. During this time, aspects of you are waking up inside you and they are curiously entering your consciousness. But they are not coming to answer your questions. They are not coming to solve your problems, but rather, they are coming to share your wisdom.

Many of you still believe that there should be an aspect of your self somewhere that knows more than you do.

You are welcome to invite that aspect of yours to become a part of you. It is no longer appropriate to keep the aspects of your self separate from you. Rather, it is appropriate to breathe them in, to let them sink deep inside you, and to let the wisdom they bring and the questions and experiences they bring become a part of you again.

It shouldn’t be your mind’s job to answer questions or to be curiously searching around in past lives. No, it is the task of your love, the love of your soul, to let those aspects become part of you again.

Question 3:

Dear Sophia! You invite us to seek the truth in ourselves and not to give our power away to others. To trust in ourselves. But how do I do that? Soon I will turn 66 and I don’t know what’s right or wrong within me anymore. I do realize that I’m insecure and so I look for people that seem to be more confident. But then I also realize that this isn’t giving me any strength, just like you have described. I have trouble understanding why we cannot trust each other and help each other. Like Lea, I went there hoping to find my strength. I’ve been into healing and energy for 20 years, but I am still insecure since I cannot see the energies nor feel them. And yet I often visit healing groups. I have also read the Crimson Circle materials for years. Am I an insecure Shaumbra? I hope that you can help me.

Sophia:

This is a very common question that you are bringing in today, a question that many of you ask, many of you that are here today. So we would like to give a general answer.

It is so true that many of you are seeking help or hope for some support, struggling to get whatever relief you can.. Yet only a few of you truly stand in your own center and proclaim: I am ready for assistance and support. I am ready for all the help that is there for me and all the love that is there for me to come into my life.

Wherever you are: Your soul is willing to give you any help that you might need. Whether it’s some love and nurturing, like you need for instance, or security –your soul is willing to give you all that. However, as long as you keep searching, hoping to get some support, as long as you believe and are certain that there is no help for you at all, your soul cannot reach you.

And your soul is aching just as you. A mother that cannot hold her crying baby feels just as much pain as the baby crying. Your soul is longing for you just as much as you are longing for your soul.

And perhaps it’s time for some of you to speak out loud and clear: I require help and assistance. I require all the love that is there for me. It doesn’t matter where it comes from, or in which way it chooses to come into my life. However far away from you that you believe your soul to be: your soul will find you. Your soul will give you all the love you need, in the shape that you need it.

When you need money, have any of you considered diving into your own center and saying loudly: I want the money that I require. I demand the assistance, the support that I need. I am willing to receive it. This is something you can allow yourselves to feel. It’s a new way that you can take control of your life. How you can rise up from being a beggar, hoping for help and handouts, continuously searching, always waiting, to a living human being that says: Yes, I will receive my soul’s support! I don’t want to be searching any more- I now want to find.

Question 4:

Dear Sophia! I am deeply moved by dolphins and whales. Why? Is there a meaning in this? Would you like to give me a response? Thank you very much.

Sophia:

You are invited to feel, that the love you have for these animals and the energies that carry them, will not get bigger if your mind invents a story to it. Your mind often wants to have a reason for what you feel. It wants to explain everything, for instance: Why do I love this person? Why do I like this house? Why do I feel so connected with the energy of these animals? Your mind answering those questions takes you away from your feeling, away from your love.

I would like to invite you to turn around. Turn around. Go back to your feeling. Sink into your belly. Something is in there that wants to be perceived and accepted. Something is there that can grow and blossom, if you stay with your feeling. When you feel, you are in synchronicity with the creations in your life. You are in resonance with that which wants to emerge. As soon as you’re out of your feeling you go to your mind and you become a critic, just watching, always knowing better, always wanting to explain and reason away everything, completely forgetting how good it was to just feel.

This is the difference between grown-ups and children. Grown-ups would rather stand beside themselves, criticizing, than to truly live and experience what they live and experience in that moment. The more we return to this innocence of children, simply enjoying what is here, the more that we will notice and experience that we grow and blossom in our lives.

Thank you.

Question 5:

Hello Sophia! From the bottom of my heart I know that I’ve taken the right path for me, yet I would still like to have someone confirm this. For instance, with regard to my physical symptoms, could they be my body reacting to the light body process or could they be the beginning of menopause. What is it? Thanks and love from my heart.

Sophia:

Can you allow yourself to be in your own center and to listen to what your soul wants to tell you? Deeper into your belly, feel: What is the feeling my soul wants to give me? Are you willing to turn your back on that inner critic saying that what you experience and what you feel is not right, not good enough, maybe even that it’s really horrible. And are you willing to turn to your soul and to feel what it’s telling you?

You may not hear words. It could be that you just feel a kind of warmth in your belly. It could be that you simply feel the stillness inside you. It could be that you feel yourself enveloped in love. It could be that you feel a soft breath, flowing through you. It doesn’t have to be words. Your mind does not have to comprehend or explain it.

You are invited to listen to your soul again. It is longing to share with you the experiences you are having right now.

When you have listened to that critic long enough, sometimes you reach a point where you don’t want to be yourself anymore. Where you can’t feel the trust in you anymore. Where you are always disappointed by yourself or you are frightened by what you experience. And it’s about time to begin a new relationship. The relationship with your own soul! It’s about time to open your inner ears and to listen: What is the love of my soul telling me? In which way does my soul accompany me?

This is the invitation for you and the invitation for any human being that is experiencing this awakening, anyone going through this experience. It is an experience that only comes once in your existence. Not numerous times, but just this once.

And this experience can be so challenging, so frustrating and sometimes frightening. And it’s never been more important to know: I can demand assistance and I can receive assistance. No matter where I am, even if it’s in the middle of the night and no one is there and my mind is telling me that I’m all alone and no one is coming to help me: I can demand assistance in every moment. Your soul has never been as close to you as it is now.

The love of countless beings that are here, close to the earth, has never been as close and as present as it is right now.

This is a special time, and it requires a special gentleness, a special empathy towards your self. You are able to choose the easy way. You may choose the easy way.

This is what I, Sophia, will be reminding you again and again.

And so we begin together...

Edited by Eva Smarda Carney
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