eelea | 2 - The New Stillness

2 - The New Stillness

Tuesday, 22. April 2008

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And so we begin...

this shared time in this wonderful space, this space in which each one of you is welcome just the way he or she happens to be right now, just the way you feel today, just the way you look today, with the thoughts that are bothering you today, with the questions that you have today, with your fears and worries and also with the wonderful courage within you that has led you here, this courage within you that’s saying: Yes! Yes! I am willing to experience more, to enjoy more, to live more than I ever have before.

And I, Sophia welcome you as we begin our shared journey on which I have invited each one of you.

And perhaps some of you have already realized that it is a new kind of way. The old ways that you remember, ways that may echo within you, were hard and strict. And how much did you have to sacrifice in order to follow these old ways! Again and again, you had to leave things behind, you had to renounce things or simply had to shut your eyes, grit your teeth, and endure this harsh, cold, unkind something.

Those were the ways of separation, the ways in which each one of you wandered alone. Always seeking, always fearing what you might encounter. Always doubting, asking your self if this was the right way.

The old energy ways were not always pleasant. They led you to new experiences. They led you to places that you wouldn’t have dared to dream of – both in the positive and in the negative sense of this expression.

And I invite you today to feel as we begin on this way of wisdom which I, Sophia am going to introduce, which emerges breath by breath, along with us. And I invite you to perceive, to feel, the first step of this way.

You may realize that it isn't a linear way that lies there straight in front of you and leads towards a goal – this is the way of the mind. It is the way of the mind which plots out a straight line in front of you, which places a goal in front of you, a goal that you then must reach.

And I Sophia invite you to realize: This way is not of the mind. That is why you cannot perceive it with your mind. Nor can you see where it ends somewhere far off, nor can you understand mentally what this way will give you, nor can you anticipate what will be required of you as the first step on this way.

This way of wisdom arises from a different place, arises from a new love within your self. It is this love within you which invites you to go a new way, to know and perceive a new way.

And the very first step on our shared way, on this way of approaching your own soul, of integrating your own soul into your life, and of becoming one with everything you really are – this first, marvelous step will help you to understand better what kind of way this is.

I, Sophia invite you to pause, to become silent and to stop going. This is the first step of our shared way: To pause, and to become still and to stop going. Allow yourself to feel what a difference it makes if this nervous part in you which always wants to go on and on is suddenly allowed to come to rest.

You are invited to sink into your body, you are invited to come to rest and to become still. You are invited to feel: There is no reason for going anywhere. There is no more reason, in this moment, for striving. No more reason for looking for anything, no more reason for struggling, no more reason for doing anything.
I, Sophia invite you to feel: There is a soft, gentle, loving way of beingness within you to which you can simply return. Some of you may be surprised since you came here with your hiking boots on and your sleeves rolled up, and you looked at me full of expectation asking me: What are we supposed to do? Where are we supposed to go? Which sacrifice are we supposed to make? Which mountain are we supposed to climb? Which strength are we supposed to use?

The old way was a way which asked you to give something, to abandon something. It asked you to steer, to direct. And the way of wisdom, the way I, Sophia wish to show you, is the way where you become still. It is the way where you begin to feel that you don't have to search anymore. To feel that there is nothing at all for you to do out there. It is also the way in which you feel and learn that your soul has never required you to give up anything, to achieve or to prove anything. Your soul waits for you in your core, waits for you to pause and become still.

And let us together take a closer look at this particular kind of stillness. What is this stillness? And how can you sink into this stillness? You see, it's exactly the opposite- it is even more than the opposite of what you have done so far. All that you have done in your life has always started with your taking action. Started with you taking the rudder in your hand. Started with you always looking for something, with you wanting to find something, or simply with you feeling pain about having lost something.

And today I invite you to feel how it feels to arrive at the end of this quest, at the end of this search, at the end of this huge responsibility which you have carried your whole life long – actually, for many lives.

Some of you who are acquainted with the Buddhist religion, may be thinking silently: Hmm, stillness, becoming still, that sounds like something I know already, something I have practiced and experienced. And yet the stillness into which I invite you today goes far beyond all that you have ever practiced or ever known.

You see, the stillness of the past was a stillness that you looked for, a stillness that you have struggled for, a stillness which some of you have even forced yourselves to enter. You made a vow of silence, you have withdrawn from your family and friends, you have forsaken your home - always in quest of this stillness. You have tried to artificially produce this stillness. You have tried to force this stillness, you have tried to discover it somewhere, somewhere, and you have wondered so long about what this stillness might be. How it might look, how it might feel. So that you have all forgotten how much – on this quest for stillness – you fell into turmoil. You fell into distress. You fell into chaos. You became hardened and lonely. There was self-denial and renouncement. And eventually you felt that the stillness was so cold and so void that in this hard stillness you almost could lose yourself. And for some of you it was quite interesting and so you tried to lose yourself in this stillness, to dissolve totally in this stillness, so that nothing of you was left.

And I, Sophia invite you to feel a stillness that is not empty, to feel a stillness that has been dwelling in your body for ages, that has been flowing in your breath for ages, that has been touching you from within for ages, a stillness that is filled with gentleness, with a warmth, with a safety. This stillness is soft, this stillness is warm, and you can safely allow yourself to sink into this stillness. This stillness doesn't expect anything of you, this stillness doesn't observe you in order to judge you, to judge how still you have become, how much stillness you have received, but this stillness watches over you lovingly, watches over you kindly and compassionately. This stillness is just with you. And it wants to flow through you and to fill you. It wants to touch all that you are.

You see, you carry so many parts within you that struggle. Parts that are anxious in your body, parts that hold a very specific expectation about you and your life and which remind you day after day that you don't fulfill these expectations. There are parts that appear first thing in the morning, immediately after awakening, parts that shout at you that you aren’t fast enough, aren’t bold enough, aren’t strong enough, that you aren’t worthy of going this loving and easy way, that you don’t deserve to do so. And precisely these parts are invited today, these parts that feel so unworthy, these parts that think so low of themselves, they are invited to dive into this stillness as well.

You see, this stillness is like a clear, deep lake. But the water in this lake is not cold, but warm. The water in this lake isn't hard either, but it is soft. And you cannot fall through the lake's water into nothingness, instead the water in this lake embraces you, so gently, and so safely. And you are invited today to feel this water of stillness, to perceive it, to perceive: How deep do I wish to sink into this stillness? How much does my body, my breath and all that I am wish to arrive in this stillness? And it is not about doing anything, and it is not about struggling and proving anything, and it is not about producing anything on the outside. Producing an artificial state, producing an outward stillness. Nor is it about the stillness only produced by your mind, which is mental and stiff and cold.

You are invited today to feel the loving stillness. To perceive the loving stillness, and to feel, here, deep within you, there is this lake of stillness, warm and safe. This stillness waits for you, waits for you to have arrived at the end of your suffering, waits for you to stop struggling and defeating yourself. This stillness waits for you to become bored with all the struggling and searching. This stillness waits for you to accept its invitation.

You see, during all this time you were busy searching and struggling, making sacrifice after sacrifice, giving so much in order to be worthy of returning home, of reuniting with your soul – or some of you thinking it was reuniting with God, of dissolving your karma, of becoming one with all that is- no matter what it was that you were looking for your whole life through - all this time there was this silent invitation within you. And perhaps you did not hear this invitation for this very reason, for it has been so silent and still. So silent, so gentle, because it just waited for you within you, invited you again and again.

Allow yourself to sink into this stillness, start feeling this stillness! How does it feel if your body touches this stillness? How does it feel if this stillness is allowed to flow in your breath? How does it feel if this stillness fills your body, if this stillness is allowed to touch all that you really are? What happens if all the parts within you that are still troubled, that are still scared and anxious, these parts that have high expectations about themselves – what happens if you allow these parts to sink into this stillness? What happens if you give yourself permission to say goodbye to this old way of hardship which has often inflicted so much pain on you?

What if this new way was a way in which you wouldn’t have to give anything - but in which you learned how to receive? What if this new way was a way in which you wouldn’t have to do without - but in which you learned to allow more things into your life? What if this new way wasn’t a way of chaos and struggle and strain - but a way that feels gentle and loving and healing to you? What if this new way wasn’t a way of separation - but a way of integration? The joining of person and soul, the flowing together of soul and body, the reuniting of the feminine and the masculine, the flowing together of dark and light, of cold and warm, hard and soft: The flowing together of a lonely, exhausted human with this ocean of your own soul's love.

And this new way begins in the stillness. This is the first step. And perhaps some of you have already realized: this is not a way for everyone. For this stillness waits within, this stillness waits beyond drama and seeking, this stillness is just there, waiting for every single one of you. And what a gift when you perceive it for the first time. When you feel for the first time that this world within you is willing to open. That all these doors that you had sealed are now willing to melt and to become soft. That all these parts of you that are frozen in their pain, in their hatred, in their seeking, begin to become a part of you, part of all that you are.

This way that I, Sophia am opening is on a new level. It is not on the level of duality, it is not on the level of the mind, but it is on the soul level that we are moving on. This level that has been forgotten for so long, that has faded into the background of your life and of your body. And stillness is the key, stillness is the first step for coming closer to your own soul again.

And I, Sophia invite you to perceive this stillness, to breathe it in, to feel it, to observe: how deep can you sink into this stillness? I, Sophia invite you to feel: This stillness is the key, this is the door that everyone who goes this way will enter. This stillness. To discover this new, loving stillness within you again. To feel it again, to breathe it again, to allow it to become part of your life again. And it’s true that your mind doesn't know what all of this means. And it’s true that all of the impatient and seeking parts of you, which would like more than anything to lead you into a new drama, into a new adventure, into a new game of separation - that these parts of you aren’t that fond of this stillness. You see, this stillness offers no food for any drama within you. This stillness offers no support to the pain, to the anger, to all of these emotions that you have fed upon so far. There’s no room for hatred, for grief, for loneliness, for all this hurting, for all this desperation. In this stillness there’s no more room for them.

This stillness is the beginning of diving into a love so deep, a love in which there is no separation, no pain, no doubt. And this is precisely why some parts of you aren’t that fond of this invitation, of this next step. And this is the exact moment in which they will emerge, wishing to play their little games with you. The part that has played a lifelong “I am not worthy of feeling and receiving that much love”, the part that has led you, again and again, into new disappointments and had you believe again and again: See, it’s not for you. See, you are so much poorer, so much weaker, so much lonelier, so much more unworthy than other people - that‘s the part that isn’t fond of this loving stillness that you have just discovered within you. For this part knows that as you allow yourself to sink into this stillness, more and more, there is no place for it anymore. This loving, warm stillness doesn't leave room for it to suffer, to be unworthy, and to be disappointed. And to play all the games that it has played with you for so long.

There is no room in this stillness. And this realization brings up all the parts within you. The fearful part of you that always likes to be scared, that only sees the most evil and the most threatening things everywhere, that expects to be attacked, treated unjustly, suppressed and abused everywhere - this fearful part hasn’t much use for this stillness, cannot enjoy this stillness. This stillness doesn't fit in with its habitual game that it is used to playing.

The same goes for the part within you that’s always so angry. That part that doesn't miss a chance for smashing dishes, for shouting, for being mad, for humiliating other people, and most of all: for hurting yourself. This angry part isn’t that fond at all of this stillness within you. This angry part is furious about you daring to perceive this stillness. This part is irritated by you enjoying this stillness so much - by you feeling so content in this loving, gentle stillness within you.

You see, you are the first one to be able to accept this invitation of your soul. You are the first one to be able to dive into this stillness, to be able to perceive it, to be able to feel it, to be able to understand it. You are the first one to allow yourself to sink into this stillness, innocent like a child, playful and curious like a child. Into this love, into this safety that is there for you alone.

And it doesn't matter that parts of you haven’t yet accepted this invitation of your soul. That they haven’t yet heard the good news, the good news that you have heard already: There is this stillness within me, there is this warmth, this safety, this love for myself.

***

And here we pause, we pause for a moment and invite the energy of today's guest. Our guest who assists us with this first step - supports us and holds us and encourages us. This guest which some of you know already – some of you have been wondering since our last meeting, wondering: Who is this guest? What is this energy which is so familiar to me – which I trust, which I accept because it is so familiar, so familiar to me as a brother or a sister?

And I, Sophia invite you to feel the energy of Yeshua who is part of this space, part of our common journey, that slumbers within each one of you. For you see, it is Yeshua who already brought this blueprint, this plan, this road map to earth. Not that long ago. Yeshua is that part within yourself who already knows the way. The part within you that longs to awaken, that longs to look into its own soul's eyes again, the part within you that knows: I am the child of my soul. I am loved infinitely, I am infinitely safe. That part deep within you that knows: I can never die. I can never perish.

Yeshua is this part within each of you which has been gently knocking within you and inviting you. This part within you which has looked over your shoulder and watched you living your life, saying: Aren’t you bored with being so lonely? Aren’t you bored with being so scared of this life? Of being so scared of this something within you? Of closing yourself off from this soul within you? Yeshua is the part within each of you that invites you to awaken, which invites each of you to blossom in a new way.

Yeshua is part of our shared journey, just as my energy, the energy and the wisdom and the stillness of Sophia embraces this space, holds this space and supports each and every one of you - the energy of Yeshua also sustains you and embraces you and holds you whenever you would like it, whenever you perceive it, whenever you decide that it is real.

Today we are speaking to this part of you that has already said “yes”. To this pioneer, to this small seed slumbering within you. Ready and willing to awaken and sink into this beautiful, gentle stillness. We are speaking to this part of you which is so wise and so loving, and which has already said “yes”. And each of you here today has this part, or you couldn’t perceive me, couldn’t feel me, couldn’t hear me. Each of you has this part, has this part which is willing to sink into this stillness, which is willing to arrive in this sweet stillness. Which is willing to get soft and to surrender. Which is willing to explore this new level within you, to open up once again at the level of your soul, to allow it to become part of you.

And we invite you at this special time, we invite you to no longer hide the love and the recognition of this magnificent part within you. To no longer bury it within you. To no longer ignore it. Instead we invite you to allow this part within you to shine, this part which already has said “yes”.

Yeshua already invited you once: “Spread the good news to all”. And we invite you today: Allow this good news to shine within you to all the parts that are still so afraid, that still want to suffer or that are angry – allow the good news to touch these parts as well. Allow this good news to circulate throughout your body, to shine its light, its love, its warmth, its safety throughout all that you are.

Some of you thought that it was about protecting and preserving this magnificent part. That it was about preventing the fearful or the angry part to spoil this good news. You thought that it was important to keep this small seed within you separate from all that you are. So that it may remain so pure, so clear, so loving.

And I, Sophia invite you today to feel: This small seed is nothing that you have to protect. This small seed is but the beginning of this way, it is but the beginning of this journey, the beginning of this love. And the more you allow this small seed to radiate, to grow, the more you allow this small seed to communicate with all these parts that you are, the more you allow this light to shine even into the darkest corners within you, the more you allow this enlightened part of you to speak to all those parts which have not yet heard the good news, that cannot yet feel the stillness, have not yet perceived this warmth, this safety – the more you will realize that this small seed within you starts to grow. This clarity, this fluid love within you doesn’t need to be protected, doesn’t need to be kept apart, but wishes to communicate with everything that you are.

This radiant part of you has so much love and wants to share it with all the parts that you are. This radiant part of you wants to come so close to this angry part in you and touch it and let it know that it is indeed safe. This radiance also wants to meet the fearful part, watch over it lovingly and let it know: You are safe. You have been found and are now in good hands, you are safe. This radiance within you wants to meet that part of you that inflicts so much suffering on itself, which allows others to abuse it, which thinks itself so unworthy. And it wants to let that part know: You are loved already. You have your soul's love, you don't need to inflict pain on yourself, you don’t need to live in deprivation anymore because your soul loves you already so much, so much...

And now the first step of our shared journey is something that you can receive for yourself and that you can offer to all of your parts. You can share it with all that you are. Not with other people, not with your partner or with your friends, but with those who really need it, with those who have been waiting so long for this kind of clarity, for this kind of love, for this kind of healing safe stillness.

We invite you to breathe with this stillness. Until our next meeting we invite you to explore this stillness, to sink deeper into this stillness and to discover: What is it that this stillness gives you? How does this stillness heal your body and all the parts within yourself? How can you dive into this lake of love, of warmth and of safety, breath by breath, a little more each time?

Some of you still think that the task is not difficult enough, not challenging enough. Some of you are still waiting for something that is hard, hard and challenging. And I invite you to feel: It is the biggest step that you can take, to sink into this stillness. It isn’t necessary to speak about it. It isn’t necessary to share it with other humans. It is a gift which belongs only to you to begin with, that you can experience deeper and deeper, perceive and feel. And the love and the wisdom of Sophia and the compassion and the mastery of Yeshua assist you on your way, on your way to your own soul.

And so we begin together...

Translated into English by Heinz Lindeman
www.diewoge.de

Edited by Eva Smarda Carney
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