eelea | 4 - Being Present

4 - Being Present

Sunday, 22. June 2008

Foto: jlokij www.photocase.com

And so we begin...

as I Sophia come into this Now with all my love. I come in to be with each one of you, each and every one of you as you are present today in this space.

And we have spent some time today preparing this space in which we meet, in which we gather today, to embody and to hold the love of your soul. We have spent some time today preparing this space so that it will be very familiar to you, filled with so much love of your own soul that you can feel and perceive it.

And you are invited to be fully and totally present here, with all that you are, with everything that makes up you. You are invited to be here in this moment, in this very special moment. It is something so simple and at the same time so important to really be here, to be present. To fill your entire body and allow yourself to be held and supported by everything that holds and supports you. To allow yourself to be fully where you really are - to perceive where you really are and how you really feel.

This is the invitation I give you today. The invitation to perceive yourself. The invitation to feel all of the things that are going on in your life - both on the inside and on the outside. To perceive what the new thing is that wants to come in to you, the new thing that you are feeling within you, and the new thing that wants to grow and thrive exactly the same way on the outside as on the inside.
You are invited to feel where there are still fears within you, where there is still tightness. Where you clench and hold. You are invited to feel where you are still angry, where there are still areas within you that make you angry, both on the inside and on the outside. You are invited to feel this.

And it is a particular way of feeling to which I want to invite you today. It is not about understanding. Nor is it about reasoning why things are there, why you are feeling certain things. It is not about explaining, saying: “I feel it because... this and this happened. I feel it because it reminds me of another thing.” You are invited today to simply feel it. To be present and to perceive the things that you are perceiving in this very moment. To observe and to feel without explaining it, without justifying it, and without judging it.
Can you let all the feelings that make up your Now be there without categorizing them as good or bad, without trying to understand why they are there? Instead, would you like to use this moment for perceiving all that you feel now?

Take a moment of time and perceive all of the things that you are feeling. Begin with your body. How do you perceive your body? How does it feel right now? What kind of vibration, what kind of rhythm is moving throughout your body? How does your body feel on the inside? Can you use this moment for just perceiving your body? To feel all of the things that belong to it?

Can you allow yourself to be held by your body? To be held the way a baby is embraced by their mother? Can you allow yourself to sink into your body perceiving how your body carries and supports you? Can you spend a moment perceiving how fluid your body really is?
Your body is not as solid as you sometimes believe. Your body is not that dense and limited. Your body doesn’t consist of as much matter as you imagined. Would you like to feel for a moment your energy streaming from your soul throughout your body? Like a flower exhaling its fragrance so your soul radiates its life energy, its love, its vitality, letting it flow throughout your body.

It is the presence of your soul that streams throughout your body, moving the atoms in your body, creating and generating matter - it is the presence of your soul that keeps your body alive. Without your soul, your body cannot live. Without your soul, your body does not exist at all.

Perhaps you would like to perceive for a moment how the source of your soul streams throughout your body, creating it anew in every moment. Your body is like the current in a river and the water streaming from the source creates this current anew in every moment. The way your soul is allowed to stream causes the way your body feels in this moment. The softer you get, the more you allow this source in your core to stream, the more you allow your soul to breathe again, the freer and easier your soul can flow, your soul can create - not only your body – but manifest your entire life.
You see: The flowing and breathing of your soul creates your body, creates your dwelling place, creates your experience. It’s like the soul was the air that you use to inflate an air mattress. The air is what makes the air mattress become what it really is. Without the air, the air mattress is just a small and flat object that you can fold up and put in a bag with no importance. But the moment that you allow the air to stream into this container, this object becomes an air mattress that holds and supports you. And it’s the same thing with your body, your everyday life, everything you experience and perceive.

You cannot grasp it with your mind. That is why we are speaking so slowly today. That is why we allow so much time for feeling and perceiving today. We allow you time to perceive, to perceive that deep within you is a source that flows and expands and that brings to life all of these things. As the air brings to life the air mattress, your soul makes your body and your life truly alive. Truly manifested.

Give yourself a moment to perceive this and to feel how deep a peace can come, the moment you begin to allow your soul to breathe again, allow the love and the energy of your soul to flow again.

This is really why we are here. This is what we refer to as the awakening of humanity. To allow your soul to flow again. Not to fight it anymore. Not to resist it anymore. But to allow this flowing and streaming again and then to allow yourself to be carried by it.
Many humans say that they wish to become one with themselves again, to become one with their body, with their soul and with their life. As in our example, when we allow ourselves to feel our soul that keeps streaming from the core, flowing in all directions, like the rays of the sun, like the shining of a star: Then what does it mean to be one with ourselves? What does it mean to be one with our body? To be one with our soul? How can you feel and perceive this?
And I invite you today to take a little journey: A journey into yourself, a journey to a very special place within you. You are invited to observe exactly what you feel, what you perceive on this journey, and you are invited not to judge it. If it happens to be an unpleasant feeling, allow it to be there. If it happens to be a pleasant feeling, allow it to be there, also.

It is not about achieving something special, or about struggling for something special. It is simply about perceiving still more, and to allow this perceiving to happen without being scared of it. It is just a perception, just a feeling, and nothing bad can happen. Even if you perceive an unpleasant feeling, it is not more than an unpleasant feeling.

And then I invite you to allow yourself to sink into yourself. And I invite you to feel that within you there is a place, an area that is a bit harder, an area which is a bit tight. You might say, cramped, or restricted, or simply hard. There is within you an area, perhaps it is almost a pattern, looking at it from close up. Perhaps it is many areas woven together. It might be a section, it might be a shape, an area or just one spot within you, which is hard, solid, contracted. And you can feel this in your body. You can perceive this in your body. Some of you sense it like a strap across your body, some sense it like a big knot in your shoulder or on your back. Something that is hard and solid.

And I want to invite you today to feel this tightened area without judging it, without saying it is bad or wrong, to perceive it so honestly and so openly. To perceive that there is something within you that is harder, more contracted. Harder than perhaps even the bones in your body. It is an inner hardness, an inner narrowness. And perhaps you would like to be with this tightened area for a moment and observe that it lies in the current of your soul like a stone or like a dam.

Your soul is breathing and flowing, and this tightened area lies in your current, lies in your breath, in your body, and without judging observe what happens. Observe how the water or the life energy of your soul flows around this rock, perhaps it streams through under this rock, past it, the flowing and streaming of your soul flows around this tightened area. And all of a sudden, there are areas in this current, where water cannot flow so freely and easily. There may be areas that become separated from the flowing of your soul, from the love of your own soul. For this tightened area doesn't allow the water to flow like it did before.

Allow yourself to just perceive this for a moment. Observe and feel how the life energy of your soul is flowing around the tightened areas within you, past them, over them. And some areas of you get less life energy, less love, less breath than other areas. It’s like a dam that keeps the life-giving water from moistening everything. It is a dam which controls the flow of the soul. And so there is too much water in some places, and too little in others.

And you may wish to feel for a moment what this is causing in your life. The tightened areas in you cause the love of your soul to be unable to permeate all of the areas of your life equally, and then not all of the areas of your life receive vitality.

There are some areas into which perhaps too much life energy is streaming in, and then others which get too little. You might wish to contemplate your life – your everyday life, your job, all the things that your life contains - your relationships, friendships, projects, ideas, your financial situation. Can you perceive how breath by breath the love of your soul wants to flood into your life, to permeate everything with its vitality? But the tightened areas are channeling the breath or the water only to certain areas. Can you perceive which areas in your life just now, in this moment, get too little love, too little vitality? Can you perceive which areas get too much life, too much vitality?

Are there areas in your life where simply nothing is flowing? Are there areas in your life where everything is empty? Where you feel a huge lack, a huge emptiness? And are there areas in your life where you feel that it is too much, that you are drowned with activity, with changes? Allow yourself to perceive that for one moment, without judging it, and without saying it is bad or wrong. Allow yourself to just perceive it for a moment - perceive what patterns the tightened areas within you are creating in your life.
Some of you may have wondered why there is so much flow and activity in your professional life but little or hardly any life in your relationships or friendships. Some of you may have wondered why you can perceive so much wealth within you but so little wealth on the outside, all around you. Again some others may have wondered why it is so easy to run away and so hard to just remain here. Why it is so easy to do nothing and so hard to do something? Why it is so easy to say “I cannot do it” and so hard to allow yourself to experience that you are able to do it?

Allow yourself to perceive this for a moment while you continue to feel and to perceive these tightened areas within you. Some of you have an image for these tightened areas. You could draw a shape, paint a picture. Some of you feel it in your own body, you feel the places where your muscles are tense, where nothing seems to flow through. Again some others only have a feeling, an idea that there is a tightened area. You know it is there, you can perceive it.

And I invite you to be with this perception for a moment, to remain with this perception. And for a moment to feel, to perceive. To perceive: Which feeling is associated with this tightened area? How do you feel when you deal with this area? Some of you feel an incredible anger, a deep hatred. Some others feel a great sadness, the feeling of loss. A desperation or a helplessness. Again some others simply feel a blind spot, an absence, a void, an abyss, a vacuum.

And I invite you to remain for a moment with this feeling, without changing anything, without wishing to change your perception, but simply to feel, simply to be there, to observe how the breath of your soul flows steadily. To observe how this form, this pattern, this tightened area within you is simply there and keeps holding. To feel, which emotions or memories are linked to this tightened area, without changing or analyzing them. Just to perceive, to feel.
Some of you perceive this tightened area like a foreign body. You wish that you could simply remove this tightened area from your body - you might feel like blasting it off, sweeping it out of your way. You perceive it like something alien, something that has been imposed on you. Something you don't want to have in your life at all. Something so difficult, so unpleasant, that you would prefer not to acknowledge it at all.

Some of you have already begun to feel it. Some of you have begun to perceive it over the last few months or years. It has led you to become very angry or very frightened from one moment to the next, without an explanation, without making any sense. The hatred or the fear appeared all of a sudden. So incredibly intense and powerful that you couldn’t cope with it.

For others of you it was a physical pain. You might have thought, “Oh, I'm having a migraine. Oh, my body is aching.” But in reality it was just you allowing yourselves to be in touch with your fearful part - if only for a tiny moment.

You see: In the time of duality there was the fearful part of you and the bold part. There were parts incredibly closed and parts wonderfully open. There was the hard part and the soft, the angry part and the peaceful, the fearful part and the love in you and then there was the tension between these two opposite extremes. There was the tension between the love of your soul which simply wants to flow freely and this closed, hardened, fearful part in you which doesn't wish to let anything flow, which is not able to let anything flow.

And today we are dealing with this part because for many of you it is time to release this part from its task, to give this part a new freedom. It doesn't matter if it is hatred or anger that you feel when looking at this part, or if it is fear, disgust, reluctance of even just a huge nothing. It doesn't matter at all.

I, Sophia invite you today to perceive this fearful part, this most vulnerable thing in you, the part that has been hurt most deeply, the trauma of which and the experiences of which were so incredibly atrocious – I invite you to feel, that this part, too, had once been a free, open, peaceful part of you. That a long, long time ago it had allowed the love and the vitality of your soul to stream through it. This part, too, belongs to you. It is a part of you.

And I invite you today, if you so choose, to allow this part to perceive again the love of your heart, that has been streaming over it for thousands and millions of years, streaming past it, streaming around it. This most fearful part in you has experienced something so unpleasant that it locked itself away completely, that it has turned away completely from you, from your soul, from the love of your soul. It has locked itself away so completely that it doesn't perceive anything, that it doesn't hear, doesn't feel, doesn't know anything but this huge fear, this hatred, this anger or this emptiness. It keeps perceiving only the thing that hurt it so much, as though it was frozen in the middle of its experience and remained in this experience forever.

Nobody perceived it, this part of you, nobody saw it or heard it. Nobody was there to understand how horrible the pain was that this little part experienced. Nobody took it seriously. Nobody listened to it. No loving words. No loving glance. No loving touch that could have helped it to get out of this experience again. All it experienced was hardness and rejection from all angles. For it is true: this part has stood in your way and is still standing in your way today. And you have begun to fight this part, you’ve tried to somehow eliminate this indefinable something within you that is still holding. Some of you have sought healing. Some of you wanted to become very strong in order to not feel this fear or this hatred or this nothingness. Others of you were ashamed – were ashamed because there is still a part in you that fears or hates so much - that is so lost.

No matter how you have dealt with this part, this fearful part in you, it might be time to take a new inner attitude toward this part which has become so locked up in itself. It might be time to just listen to it and just be there. You might wish to perceive what a difference it makes if you simply are there and listen lovingly to this part without judging it, without telling it that it drains you or annoys you, but just listen to it. Perhaps you hear nothing but its stillness, its unresponsiveness. Perhaps you hear, far off, a faint desperate crying. A fear. An anger.

And perhaps you wish to be there with this part of you and to continue listening to it, to let it know that there is nothing to change, that it needn't be ashamed for what it has experienced, that there is no more threat, that it is safe now, that you are ready to just be there without trying to change it by force. Without pulling it out of its dark cave. Without explaining away anything, without analyzing. Instead you are there and just listen like you would to a child that is very scared for it has had such a dreadful experience. And you allow it all the time in the world. And you are as still and as peaceful as you can be there now. And you allow this part as long as it needs to accept the fact that it isn't threatened anymore, to accept the fact that it isn't rejected anymore. You let this part feel that you won't shrug off its experience, that you won't skip over it lightly telling it that it wasn’t that dreadful. Instead, you let that part know that you are really ready to listen to what it experienced. That you are really willing to hear if it was dreadful for this part and if your part feels lonely, or sad, or disappointed.

It is not the time to speak to your part, but the time to simply listen. A loving listener who is just there, breathing softly and feeling: I've got all the time in the world. I don't need to hurry. I don't need to fix anything. I don't need to change anything, I am just here to listen to you.

We have begun today to listen to this fearful part within you because it is precisely the part that bothers you the most. Some of you have already realized that it is easy to listen to the parts of you and to perceive the parts of you that are happy and cheerful, or are scared just a little bit, or sad or angry just a little bit.

But what about the parts that are very, very sad? Or very, very angry? That are so closed and withdrawn into themselves that they can't perceive any contact from you or from your soul? What about these children that experienced something dreadful, that were very terrified, very disappointed? Can you listen to this child within you? Can you perceive what it wants to tell you? It may simply cry a little. It may be angry and shout and complain. Or it may be completely still, completely terrified and numb. Can you stay with this child and simply listen to it without judging it, without pushing it away, without doing anything?

Some of you are surprised at how easy and natural it is to be there for your part and to listen. And you may wonder what you used to do differently when alone - what the difference is between this listening we experience together today and the listening and the presence you have experienced so far on your own.

Why is it sometimes so difficult? Why do you sometimes feel such great resistance, why do you feel that you have to be so strong? Why do you feel that it is so tiring to listen to these traumatized, hurt parts? You see: The answer is so simple. The answer is so easy - the moment that you want to change the hardened part so that it will become soft again, the moment you want the fearful part to stop being scared – this is the moment when you haven't understood it. And the part feels that you haven’t understood it. The part feels that you are not at all interested in how it is, in what it has experienced, in what it is still experiencing. The part only feels an unloving attempt to change it and it will resist and then lock itself away even more. And it will be even more scared and even more angry, because it perceives this unloving attempt which only wanted to change it.

You also know this feeling. You know yourself what happens if somebody just wants to change you, not listening or understanding what you really want to say.

How many of you get angry or frustrated if you realize that you are not being listened to but given advice from all sides or are told that things aren’t really that bad. You realize there is nobody who really honors and accepts you. You realize that there is nobody who will take the time to understand you, to listen to your experience, to perceive your feelings, to be with you. Somebody who doesn't judge you. Somebody who doesn't tell you that you could or should act differently. But somebody who is just with you and listens to you and knows what you want to say even if you can't express it.
This is the inner attitude which makes even the most fearful part in you gain trust and begin to open up again – because it realizes that there is somebody who loves it, who carries compassion within themselves, a stillness, and this is why it is that simple and this is why it is that easy. And therefore I invite you now to perceive the hardened, most fearful part in you once more, to feel it once more and to observe that something has already changed.

In this short period of time during which you did nothing but be there and listen, perceiving what this part feels, perceiving what made it lock itself away – in this short period of really listening, this fearful part of you could relax a bit. It has a bit more trust. It has a bit more tranquility, a bit more peace. It is like a miracle. It is like a miracle that the parts in you, the parts that are most fearful really don't expect more of you than that you perceive them honestly and openly, than that you listen to them. And by this listening they gain trust, they recognize that not everything on the outside is as evil and hostile as they had once thought. Something in them begins to trust, begins moving, begins coming alive. Something in them starts breathing again.

This healing process takes time. This healing process doesn't happen in a few minutes or in an hour, but in every moment that you are willing to listen, in every moment that you are ready to listen softly and openly, without judging, without evaluating, but simply listening and perceiving how each part by part within you trusts again, opens up again and starts breathing again.

It is a miracle happening. It is a new order being created. And you see: Whenever the hardened, tightened parts are allowed to become soft and start flowing in the stream of your soul, they become one with you. They breathe with you. They move with you. They share your rhythm, your feeling and your perception. As every drop of water is part of the river it flows with, so all of these parts are allowed to dissolve into the stream of your soul.

And then what happens? The love of your soul which originates in your core and which wants to expand and to radiate in every direction then touches everything and all that you are, all that belongs to you. The more tightened areas that are allowed to melt, the more parts that are allowed to open and trust again, the more the steady breath of your soul can reach every corner of your life and awaken it to new life. It is as though dams have been opened where otherwise vast areas of earth would have dried out, vast areas of earth would have become a desert.

It is through the melting and becoming soft that the water can stream into these areas too, and awaken them to new life. Just as you are becoming a blossoming garden, the earth also wishes to become a blossoming garden. And no continent and no country and no human being living on this earth shall be separated from the flow of their love, but every continent, every country and every human being living on this earth is allowed to become part of this flowing, part of this abundance, part of this blossoming garden.
And just as you are healing within and become one with yourself again, the earth will also heal and become one with itself again. It is a special time in which you now live, in which you have chosen to be on this earth. You have chosen for yourself to walk this way of healing, of becoming one with your own soul. And you are walking this path in your very own special way. And your mind cannot grasp it at all, how uniquely and how perfectly you walk your way. Nobody can flow and experience your way as perfectly as you can.
Do not forget this.

And so we are drawing to a close the energy of our meeting today. And we invite you to continue to listen and to be present in the time to come and to observe how even the most fearful parts within you begin to gain new trust, trust in you and in your soul.

And so we begin together...

Translated into English by Heinz Lindeman
www.diewoge.de

Edited by Eva Smarda Carney
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